Fair Incentive
Award winning customer support, please hold.
Customer satisfaction is the cheapest number in corporate Australia to lift. Nobody has to be served any better. Somebody only has to be careful who gets asked.
Moose Mobile carries a 1.3 on Trustpilot and a 4.4 on ProductReview. In August, 12 per cent of the entries arriving on its ProductReview page named the staff member who took the call. By October it was 57 per cent.
Four entries across the group's two listings carry a tag reading Fair Incentive, which means the reviewer was given something, and the platform's rules say that something has to be offered equally to the customers likely to be critical and the ones likely to praise. Whether it did is a question for the company.
In August the board put a satisfaction rating in front of shareholders, reported to one decimal place, taken from the Swoop listing rather than the Moose one. On who never got through, the slide is quieter.
§ Right of reply
Ten questions went to Swoop Holdings Limited on 1 November. The company answered all ten in writing, within the window. The response runs in full at the foot of this piece and the text above has been updated where it bears on it. Most companies send nothing. Nine of the ten answers are substantive. The tenth is that the presentation is being finalised.
Moose Mobile's Trustpilot page gives it 1.3 out of five. Its ProductReview page gives it 4.4. Google has it at 3.6, and the parent brand, Swoop Mobile, sits above all of them at 4.7. One company, 3.4 stars between the top and the bottom. The Trustpilot and Google pages cover the brand rather than any single product, so a share of each will be about its internet service.
None of those four numbers is a measurement of the migration. They are lifetime averages and they move at whatever speed their own histories allow. What has been happening since July shows up in the entries arriving underneath them, and those have not been arriving evenly.
Ballast
Most of the gap is arithmetic, and the arithmetic is real.
Moose has 5,298 entries on ProductReview, built up over years, so a bad quarter barely registers against them. The Trustpilot page carries 544 and the Google page 732, and both of those lurch when something goes wrong. Anybody defending the company would be entitled to start there, and entitled to stay there for a while.
What the ballast will not explain is what the recent entries actually say.
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For Reasons of Scale
A third of shareholders voted against the pay. Twelve days later two directors left on the same day, and the chairs stayed empty. In February the auditor flagged going concern. The announcement that morning was headlined Strong Organic Growth. In June the audit committee was abolished, for reasons of scale, and 135,000 customers were told to move networks. The hesitant were offered a raffle. Thirty-seven cents a head. The rest paid ten dollars a month for the privilege. Customers got a forty-five day clock. Shareholders got two, eight weeks apart. Nobody answered the door.
